Mog Knight's Summer Bonanza 2024 Exit Letter

Mog Knight Hiatus 8/1/24

Well, it's that time again.

Cue the scene with Roxas saying "Looks like my summer vacation is over". Then it cuts to him looking at the Halloween Express banner. That's how the scene goes, right?

Anyways, here's a final letter from me to you before I go on hiatus once more. Read it, why don't you? If not, I'll still be around in these series of tubes and pipes we call the internet. Somewhere. Hopefully.

Also, play this to set the mood:

Dear Mogfriends,

Well, it's that time again.

Wait, did I already say that?

Anyways, I just want to express my deep and honest thanks to the many people who helped make this Summer Bonanza 2024 a success in my heart, despite not reaching all the goals. We reached the big one though!! Twitch Affiliate!!

Just to name a few folks, a big thank you to ayaaboo and eythix for the raids and just sharing your community with me. To some pals who kept me company during my streams - Umami, sommerkurz, Paragonaragon, AmaroVT, Rina_board, and others as well who just stopped by even for a bit. To all the lurkers out, you are appreciated greatly. To all the folks who just even like my tweets or just humor me by keeping little old Mog in your thoughts. I wouldn't have been able to do this without the support of others. And you! The person reading this! Dare I even say, the cutest and coolest on this list!!

But seriously, the phrase "no person is an island" is something I keep in my heart and something I keep trying to learn from everyday. I'm in introvert and isolator by heart, but over the years I'm learning how fun it is to be and share in the company of others. Even if I'm not that good at it, if I can help make a person's day or add to a memory or just make them smile even if it's a short moment, then that's good enough for me.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't think I would be hitting any of my goals this summer bonanza. I first started streaming in 2021 under my vtuber avatar (shoutouts to my model papa Wur for accepting me in the first place), and it was fun and all. But some days, just thinking about hitting that "go live" button just filled me with dread. Negative thoughts filled my mind, saying that this is all a waste of time. Saying that I have nothing to say or add, and no one will watch me anyways so why bother. I will never have support, and I will never be successful.

I named this part of me - the demons.

Every so often, these thoughts still come back. Not just with streaming, but a lot of the creative endeavors I do. Art, writing, music-making, and more. And to be honest, sometimes those thoughts win. I shut down. I walk away.

But as I grow older, I learned the easiest way to deal with it is not to fight it. But to accept it. The more I fought, the more tired I became. The more time passes of idleness. And so, I learned to take the demons and become like them. Fierce. Unrelenting. Steadfast. Constant.

At the end of the day, it is me. So why fight, when I can learn to love me.

The summer bonanza was my attempt to do just that. I said this before, my true goal in all this was just to have fun. To have an avenue of expression, a place where I can be myself. No matter how dumb, awkward, silly, scuff. All those are me. All, honest to God, me. Even if no one came along on my wild ride, I wanted to end stream and say "well, I tried" with a smiling on my face, knowing I made it through as best I can.

Even if what I put out there never reaches anybody, it is still proof that I tried. Still proof that I exist in this world. Proof that I once lived, and lived with my whole heart. To not shy away anymore, to not let the demons win. But to prove that I can be me, without restrictions.

That's all I could have really asked for this entire summer.

So, what's next for me?

Well, I'll still be around. I want to do more and more, it's my curse. I love creating things. I want to write more, comment and analyze things more, start drawing more, start composing more, start playing more music. Even start planning more bits to do on stream.

But with my day job coming soon, there will be no more schedules unless I have big breaks. The streams will be sporadic, but I do plan on either tweeting more, utilizing my cohost more, planning on video content on my youtube, and definitely using more of my site.

I also want to start chatting in communities more too. I'm a lifelong lurker. I've been in communities where I have over 100k channel points. I should really be part of moments, right?

So, to finally end this already long and word-y letter: thank you again for your support and for keeping in mind a little old Mog like me. I don't deserve it, and I want to strive and improve so that one day I can feel like I do deserve it. Until then, please be patient with me.

With that, I must take my leave. I'm running out of digital paper.

Oh, and a little insider baseball for you: the next summer bonanza (if things go according to plan) might look different. A whole lot different. A rebrand/2.0 is in the works.

With lots of love and well wishes,

And remember - stay frosty,

Mog Knight